WHEN YOU’RE LOST IN THE DARK,

hope is a choice.

but how much hope is enough hope?

i’ve been gluing my broken self (& all the other humans in the world) back together. for months now. || there exists, for each of us, a darkness. which we would never enter willingly. and be it private or public, literal or metaphorical, the only way out of this darkness, is in. and through. i wish us the courage to enter. to sit in it. to observe. to find and consider whatever is inside for finding. || for this is where the stars reside. this is where the days begin and where the strongest roots hold fast. this is where new life is conceived. in little bits.

joined together in the dark.

acrylics, india inks, wire, graphite, glue and glass on birch panel

36 x 144 inches

THE SUSTAINING THOUGHTS

Genesis 1:1-2     
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Psalm 97: 1-2    
The Lord reigns, let the earth be glad;
let the distant shores rejoice.
Clouds and thick darkness surround him;
righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.

LOST: by David Wagoner
Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

Exodus 20: 20-21    Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”  The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.

I HAVE A DREAM SPEECH - Martin Luther King, Jr.,  1963,  Washington, D.C. (excerpts) 
“We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. … 

When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men — yes, Black men as well as white men — would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. …

We refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. … This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism.  Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children. … The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. …  

We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. … [There will be] a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual.  … There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, when will you be satisfied? We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. … Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. … 

We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream. … I say to you today, my friends, though, even though, we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. 

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created equal.  I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. … I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today. … 

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.  This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning: My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrims' pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.  And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. 

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania. Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado. Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California. But not only that, let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia. Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee. Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.  

And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, Black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: 

Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty, we are free at last.”

Psalm 25: 1-5, 14-18, 20-21     
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. 
Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me, 
No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame … 
Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; 
guide me in your truth and teach me
for you are God my Savior
And my hope is in you All Day Long. …
The Lord confides in those who fear him; 
me makes his covenant known to them. 
My eyes are ever on the Lord,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, 
for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free my from my anguish.
Look upon my affliction and distress
and take away all my sins …
Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame, 
for I take refuge in you.
May integrity and uprightness protect me, 
because my hope is in you.

ARAFEL  - a Hebrew word meaning THE THICK OPAQUE MYSTERIOUS DARKNESS ASSOCIATED WITH THE PRESENCE OF GOD:  THE DIVINE DARKNESS.  sometimes fog, gloom, a palpable obscurity signaling God’s presence and His impenetrable nature.
Biblical usage: Job 38: 9, Deut. 4:11, Psalm 97:2, 1 Kings 8:12, Exodus 20: 18-20

WE THE PEOPLE, ARE STRONGER, MORE POWERFUL, THAN THE PEOPLE IN POWER

PRAYER for DTM (and maybe, also, for me.  and for all of us.) 
I love you.  
And I miss you. 
I wish for you honor and cherishing, love and care.
May your heart know shelter and kindness and service and consideration.
May you know acceptance and unconditional love. 
May you know strength that compliments yours.  
May you know and love and enjoy another heart who makes yours feel BIG and WHOLE. 
May you love yourself well, so someone else can too. 
May you know the rewards of discipline and service and a lifetime of growing together. 
May you be love to others. 
May you feel strengthened and supported and liberated and comforted by that immensity of love. 

The PREAMBLE to the CONSTITUTION of the UNITED STATES of AMERICA (excerpt)
We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution for the United States of America.  … 

The DECLARATION of INDEPENDENCE (excerpt)
We hold these truths to be self evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.  That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such a form as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.  

WITH DARKNESS CAME STARS  - Audrey Flack

Psalm 139: 5-12   
You hem me in - behind and before; 
you have laid your hand upon me.  …
Where can I go from your Spirit? 
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; 
if I make me bed in the depths, you are there. 
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, 
If I settle on the far side of the sea, 
even there you hand will guide me, 
your right hand will hold me fast. 
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become ninth around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you; 
the night will shine like the day, 
for darkness is as light to you.

Joshua 1:6-9   
Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.  Be strong and very courageous.  Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.  Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.  Then you will be prosperous and successful.  Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see what the Lord has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Exodus 22:21
Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt.

Psalm 130: 1-2
Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord;
O Lord, hear my voice. 
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy. 

Psalm 91: 1-6
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, 
my God, in whom I trust.” …
He will cover you with his feathers, 
and under his wings you will find refuge; 
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night, 
nor the arrow that flies by day, 
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness.

Psalm 120: 2
Save me, O Lord, from lying lips
and from deceitful tongues.

Job 38: 8-9, 12-13
Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness …
Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,
that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?

2 Kings 3:16-20
This is what the Lord says: 
Make this valley full of ditches.  For this is what the Lord says: You will see neither wind nor rain, het this valley will be filled with water, and you, your cattle and  your animals will drink.  This is an easy thing in the eyes of the Lord; He will also hand Moab over to you.  You will overthrow every fortified city and every major town.  You will cut down every good tree, stop up all the springs and ruin every good field with stones.  The next morning, about time for offering the sacrifice, there it was — water flowing from the direction of Edom! And the land was filled with water.  

Sweet Darkness - by David Whyte
When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone,
no part of the world can find you.
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will be your home tonight.
The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.

Isaiah 45: 3
I will give you the treasures of darkness, 
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the Lord,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

Isaiah 43: 1-3
Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, Your God, 
The Holy One of Israel, Your Savior.
I AM THE LORD.

in no particular order. honestly.
TITLE - AUTHOR - ABSTRACT/SUBTITLE

• LEARNING TO WALK IN THE DARK - BARBARA BROWN TAYL0R - EXPLORING THE SPIRITUAL TREASURES OF DARKNESS: Because God Often Shows Up at Night

• WINTERING - KATHERINE MAY - The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

• ALL THE LIGHT WE CANNOT SEE - ANTHONY DOERR - In the final days of WWII, the paths of a blind French girl and a German soldier collide...

• COLLECTED POEMS 1956-1976 - DAVID WAGONER - the poem LOST - because lost is a place too

• THE HOUSE OF BELONGING - DAVID WHYTE - the poem SWEET DARKNESS - on making one’s way through the dark night of the soul

• THE RUTHLESS ELIMINATION OF HURRY - JOHN MARK COMER - How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World

• TO SHAKE THE SLEEPING SELF - JEDIDIAH JENKINS - A 10,000-Mile Journey from Oregon to Patagonia, and One Man's Quest to Wake Up the Soul

• BECOMING MRS. LEWIS - PATTI CALLAHAN - The Improbable Love Story of Joy Davidman and C. S. Lewis

• SUPRISED BY JOY - C.S. LEWIS - The Shape of My Early Life

• GRACE (EVENTUALLY) - ANNE LAMOTT - Thoughts on Faith

• THE BOOK OF LONGINGS - SUE MONK KIDD - a novel set two thousand years ago - what if you were a woman, a writer, a soul longing for freedom?tion text goes here

in no particular order. honestly.
TITLE - AUTHOR - ABSTRACT/SUBTITLE

• WITH DARKNESS CAME STARS: A MEMOIR - AUDREY FLACK - Only in the darkest moments of our lives do the brightest stars appear.

• PICASSO’S WAR - HUGH EAKIN - How Modern Art Came to America

• THE FRIDAY NIGHT CLUB - Sofia Lundberg, Alyson Richman, & M.J. Rose - A Novel of Artist Hilma af Klint and Her Creative Circle

• NINTH STREET WOMEN - MARY GABRIEL - Lee Krasner, Elaine de Kooning, Grace Hartigan, Joan Mitchell, and Helen Frankenthaler: Five Painters and the Movement That Changed Modern Art

• THE ARTIST’S WAY - JULIA CAMERON - A SPIRITUAL PATH TO HIGHER CREATIVITY

• FOURSOME - CAROLYN BURKE - The story of Alfred Stieglitz, Georgia O’Keeffe, Paul Strand, & Rebecca Salsbury

• ALICE NEEL - PHOEBE HOBAN - The Art of Not Sitting Pretty

• FIERCE POISE - ALEXANDER NEMEROV - Helen Frankenthaler and 1950s New York

• BIG MAGIC - ELIZABETH GILBERT - Creative Living Beyond Fear

• THE FLOWERING - JUDY CHICAGO - The Autobiography of Judy Chicago

• HIDDEN POTENTIAL - ADAM GRANT - The Science of Achieving Greater Things

• Z - THERESE ANNE FOWLER - A novel of Zelda Fitzgerald: novelist and painter

• WALK THROUGH WALLS : A MEMOIR - MARINA ABRAVOMIC - Serbian performance artist exploring connection through physical endurance

• THE LIVES OF LEE MILLER - ANTONY PENROSE - Surrealist artist/VOGUE photographer turned war correspondant in WWII, written by her son,

in no particular order. honestly.
TITLE - AUTHOR - ABSTRACT/SUBTITLE

• THESE TRUTHS - JILL LEPORE - A HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES

• In the Garden of Beasts - ERIK LARSON - Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler's Berlin

• KING: A LIFE - JONATHAN EIG - BIOGRAPHY OF MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

• A FEVER IN THE HEARTLAND - TIMOTHY EGAN - The Ku Klux Klan's Plot to Take Over America, and the Woman Who Stopped Them

• DEVIL IN THE GROVE - GILBERT KING - Thurgood Marshall, the Groveland Boys, and the Dawn of A New America

• THE SMALL AND THE MIGHTY - SHARON MCMAHON - TWELVE UNSUNG AMERICANS WHO CHANGED THE COURSE OF HISTORY: FROM THE FOUNDING TO THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT

• THE DEAMON OF UNREST - ERIK LARSON - A Saga of Hubris, Heartbreak, and Heroism at the Dawn of the Civil War

• THE SPENDID AND THE VILE - ERIK LARSON - A Saga of Churchill, Family, and Defiance During the Blitz

• YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED TO DIE BEFORE YOU CAN BEGIN TO LIVE - PAUL KIX - Ten weeks in Birmingham that changed America

• THE FIRE NEXT TIME - JAMES BALDWIN - A letter to Baldwin's nephew on the 100th anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation

• THE WOMEN - KRISTIN HANNAH - A young woman’s experience as a military nurse in Vietnam

CLICK HERE